Lemon said I've been pushing the wrong buttons again... I guess she must be right, eh?
Thing is, i've been so tired. Tired and a bit blue. Worn down physically, and mentally as well. I've had no time for me, no time to scrap, read a book, listen to my music, talk to friends... no time for anything but work. And it seems it's payback time.
I've had a few sweet messages from people in the last couple of days, and I want to say thanks for this support and concern. It 's been quite heartening to hear from peeps I haven't been in contact with for ages. So nice to find people are thinking of you when you go awol and are maybe feeling down.
I try to basically be a happy kind of girl. Sure I worry, but I hate to bring others down with me, and I feel all i've had to say lately - when I've had a minute to say anything at all - has been negative and miserable... and why does anyone want to hear that?
I've still got family health problems going on and I can't help but worry about all that but I'm trying to step back a little and ease up on myself a bit... I can't carry on like this without something giving... and I don't want it to be me. Been there and done that, thank you very much, and I'm not looking for another ride on that particular roundabout I can tell you.
On a postive note, a few of my pressures have eased now, and not a minute too soon either. I had a lovely evening Friday night with family, and yesterday I did nothing. Nothing at all. Well apart from loading up my new pretty pink Mp3 player - a mother's day pressie from Jazz and Vin.
I'm gonna maybe try and scrap a little today... heaven know's I'm scared of gettimg behind with committments cos that worries me also. I don't like to let people down.
Sadly though, it seems I've done that anyway.... though goodness knows I felt I had personal reason enough... I guess we just don't all think the same though, do we.... but it's pretty crushing to offer the olive branch and find yourself completely rebuffed.
Ah well... such is life eh?
On a happier level I've discovered a couple of day's complete rest can make a huge difference to your outlook. Being around people who love you, sharing laughs and memories and just having fun... ignoring the clock and the lists and the nagging voice in your head that says Get on, you don't have time to stop.... it's well.... what can I say.....? It's rejuvenated me, and today I'm feeling fine. On top of the world, even.
I want to get back to crafting now. I realise I need to create little scrappy things... not because it's important - scrapping's a hobby and a pastime, it's not actually important is it - not compared to really important stuff I mean, like child poverty, and kids murdering each other on the streets, and cancer and other devastating diseases.... though there are probably some who would disagree with me, I know.
But anyway, I've missed having the chance to dabble and mess about with papers and paint and glue - and unbelievably, I haven't even ordered my photos from the carnival, and that's just not me... Usually I have them uploaded, ordered, and in my grubby little paws within days... So I'm really looking forward to getting back my 'play' time.
So, enough waffling. I wish you all a lovely relaxing Sunday, Oh... and Jazzabelle? ... these are the flowers you sent, and obviously haven't seen... :-) gorgeous aren't they? thanks baba x x x
Adios mi Amiga's - hasta luego!